The other day, I realized that I can “take notes” and highlight passages when reading books in iBooks. Not only that, but iBooks keeps a list of them that both shows the passage and contains a link to the page where I made the note or highlighted text.

Really, this has made more than one of my days!

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Instead, I put it off and looked forward to this morning. There were two other things that were competing for my attention: a request for help at school, and a mass being said for a friend. I was tempted by both opportunities. Really, I felt guilty about considering not choosing to do something I felt like I should. I should, after all, be running around doing *stuff* right? Instead, I decided that I really, really wanted and needed to swim.

There have been many mornings this month that I really didn’t want to swim. If I had to get wet, I wanted it to be in private, with warm or hot water and great smelling soap and shampoo. I wanted to feel clean and warm and dry when I was done. But this morning? I was looking forward to it. I wanted to feel like I had done something this morning, I wanted my muscles to feel a little tired because they had been worked. I even wanted to feel the water feel cold for a couple of seconds until the activity made it feel warm and cool at the same time. I was even ok with the contortions needed to make sure that my socks and pant legs wouldn’t get wet because the floor was wet.

But when I got out of bed this morning to wake up the girls, I intended to walk straight to the door, but ended up smacking into the side of the dresser. I course corrected to Katie’s doorway and came close to falling down the stairs. By the time I was getting Maggie, I realized that I was having some issues with my balance. I wasn’t dizzy… just off-balance. It was a strange feeling.

So, today, I didn’t get my swim today. But I am getting to chill on my couch for a while today while I try to reset my balance-meter in more ways than one.

Monday, though? I will be swimming. It’s all about balance, right?

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Here are some of the best things I’ve read recently…

From Momastery: A Mountain I’m Willing to Die On

Children are not cruel. Children are mirrors. They want to be “grown-up.” So they act how grown-ups act when we think they’re not looking. They do not act how we tell them to act at school assemblies. They act how we really act. They believe what we believe. They say what we say. And we have taught them that gay people are not okay. That overweight people are not okay. That Muslim people are not okay. That they are not equal. That they are to be feared. And people hurt the things they fear. We know that. What they are doing in the schools, what we are doing in the media – it’s all the same. The only difference is that children bully in the hallways and the cafeterias while we bully from behind pulpits and legislative benches and one liners on sit-coms.

Diana Nyad talks at TedMed about how extreme goals can release you from living with regrets large and small.

“Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?” –Mary Oliver

Don’t Carpe Diem has been making the rounds, and makes me want to wave my fist in the air and yell “Yessssss!!!!!”

When I started this post, there were a couple other things I thought I had seen. Maybe I did, but I can’t find them now. Oh well. Maybe that means there will have to be another post like this sometime.

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I’ve been lucky enough to be a part of the beta testing at www.bia-sport.com, a woman-centric workout and activity tracking site. One of the best things about this site is that it is goal oriented. So I entered in my goal of 12 miles (20,000 yards to be precise, which is just over 12 miles), and every time I logged a workout, it added it to my monthly total. It was as gratifying to see the total yardage needed to reach my goal shrink every time I swam as it was to see my total for the month grow. Talk about an easy way to stay motivated!

And this morning, after I logged in my workout this morning, got to see “Goal Completed – Congratulations” printed under my goal instead of my running yardage count.

Satisfaction, indeed.

And now I have a week to decide what February’s goal is going to be.

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Maine by J. Courtney Sullivan. The story of 3 generations of women and a beach house in Maine. This is the second of Sullivan’s books that I’ve read, and I really hope she is working on a third now! She writes beautifully; I love how the present and past, the profound and the mundane are woven together as part of the same story, just as they are in our heads.

Commencement, by J. Courtney Sullivan – This was wonderful. Chronicles 4 Smithies 4 and 5 years after gradution. Many flashbacks, 4 points of view. I really enjoyed this book!

The Paris Wife Awesome book club read!

10th Anniversary by James Patterson. I like the Women’s Murder Club. Its good summer reading.

Promises Kept by Jane Green – I cried. This book made me want to throw it across the room because I knew what was going to happen. The happy woman who was succeeding in her marriage, parenting and friendships and genuininy happy? She was going to get really, really sick. Can’t say I was shocked.

Storied I Only Tell My Friends by Rob Lowe – Are there any adult women who didn’t have a crush on Rob Lowe at some point?

Blue Bloods, by Melissa de la Cruz – Young Adult vampire fiction set in New York City. Does anything say summer more than that?

Bossypants, by Tina Fey – too much fun to count.

The Divorce Party, by Laura Dave – Two points of view, one very long and interesting day. I’m tempted to count this in the official list. Maybe I still will.

The First Husband, by Laura Dave – A different take on chick lit. I found this really enjoyable and thoroughly engaging. I’m looking forward to finding other books by Laura Dave (I think there are some).

Bitter is the New Black, by Jen Lancaster – too much fun to count. An unemployment memoir with the best subtitle ever: Confessions of a Condescending, Egomaniacal, Self-Centered Smartass, Or, Why You Should Never Carry a Prada Bag to the Unemployment Office. Really. With a title like that, how could it not be fun? Also My Fair Lazy I didn’t love this one as much, although it was still wickedly funny. And I think I want to read some Edith Wharton now.

Still Alice, Lisa Genova – a book club selection. I love this book. It is both an amazingly and horrifyingly real account of a woman’s battle (and submission) to early onset Alzheimers Disease. I didn’t count it because I’d read it before.

Let Neglected, Lisa Genova – a book about Left Neglect syndrome, which is apparently a real thing where a traumatic brain injury makes a person incapable of understanding that there is a “left” side to things. Very interesting, but so foriegn it was difficult to really “get it.”

The Power of Half, Kevin Salwen and Hannah Salwen – another book club selection

The Elegance of the Hedgehog, Muriel Barbery. When I got this book out of the library, the librarian gushed over what a wonderful book it was and how much I was going to love it. She was wrong. I read half of it and put it down because I just couldn’t do it anymore. Deeply philosophical and very slow moving, I just couldn’t get into it. I might try it again.

Under the Boardwalk and Summer Lovin’ by Carly Philips. Brain Sorbet. Light reads that are just easy. Great for the beach, the bathtub or when you simply don’t want to be challenged.

Sizzling Sixteen & Smokin’ Seventeen by Janet Evanovich. My dad reads these, too.

Lift by Kelly Corrigan. I loved The Middle Place so much and was excited to read her new “book.” But at under 50 pages, it is hard to consider it an actual book.

The Lincoln Lawyer by Michael Connelly. Lawyer fiction sort of like John Grisham.

Leave it to Cleavage by Wendy Wax. Meh, but she apparently lives in East Cobb, which is interesting.

Then Came You by Jennifer Weiner. So much better than the last couple Jennifer Weiner books. It was great to see her back up to form.

10th Anniversary and Now You See Her by James Patterson.

Something Borrowed and Something Blueby Emily Giffin. I picked up Something Borrowed because it is out in a movie, and realized halfway through that I had read it before. I didn’t really remember the ending, though, so it was fun. I knew I had read Something Blue already, but re-read it because I could’t remember the details and wanted to see what happened with Darcy after finishing the first one.

My Stroke of Insight by Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor. I had seen this woman’s TED presentation and was fascinated. The book did not disappoint. Dr. Taylor did an amazing job of explaining what a stroke feels like, and how it feels to recover from one. In the midst of that, she also manages to explain some brain anatomy and functionality in an understandable way and use that to explain transcendence and connection. Pretty impressive for 224 pages.

The TED Presentation: http://blog.ted.com/2008/03/12/jill_bolte_tayl/

I feel like I’ve missed more, but I can’t remember what they are now. Besides. New year, new list.

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When I got to the airport to leave, I noticed that the guy in front of me in the security line was sitting next to me on the plane. I considered saying hi, but didn’t. I was mortified to admit that I looked at the boarding pass. There is just no way to make that sound breezy. “Hey there, I noticed that you are sitting next to me…” Ok. Thinking about it now, it doesn’t actually sound all that crazy. But while I was standing there, the idea of it made me nauseated. And thinking more clearly… the after-effects of the party may have been contributing to the nausea.

I have a tendency to be nosy. I don’t mean to be, and I’m not maliciously nosy, but I do let my eyes wander, and my ears are usually open (the girls behind me? They were funny…). And standing in a slow-moving security line where I can see your boarding pass? I’m going to take a peek. And when I notice that you are sitting next to me? I’m going to glance at your name and check you out. Just a little. I mean, if you look like a serial killer, I’m going to look into getting a new seat at the other end of the plane.

Of course, since it was a small airport, I ended up sitting next to the guy, Kevin, in the waiting area. At this point, I couldn’t say anything because admitting that I had been nosy and then waited to say something about it seemed several steps further along the stalker path. Besides, we were going to be boarding in 10 minutes, so I figured that we could just talk then. If we had to.

I’m also not generally an overly social person. I like people, and when I know people well, I talk their ears off. But when I don’t know them well, I am very quiet. I’ve been told that I seem cold and judgmental and bored. (I consider this one of my many shortcomings, and if given a magic wand, this would be one of the things I would consider changing about myself first.) Given the choice in an airport/airplane situation, I bring a book and earphones and mind my own business. That day in the airport, for example, I had a book, a magazine (as backup) and 2 television shows ready for watching so I could keep to myself without seeming off-putting.

But then the gate attendant mentioned that there had been a “mechanical irregularity” on the inbound flight, and they needed to have the maintenance guy check it out before we could take off. It would be about 15 minutes, he said. 45 minutes later, they admitted that the maintenance man lived over an hour away and they were still waiting for him to arrive.

By this point, the 2 dozen of us waiting for the plane are the only people in the airport. Small plane, small airport. Although I didn’t have a conversation with any of these people, I could tell you what many of them were wearing. And I am still sitting next to and actively ignoring a stranger.

So as we queued up to have out connecting flights rescheduled, I noticed that the guy who was sitting next to me was also going to Atlanta. Which meant that he was also going to have a just over 3.5 hour layover in Philly.

Before leaving for the airport, my dad handed me a pass to go to the airline’s special lounge. He wasn’t going to be able to use it by the time it expired, and I was scheduled to have an hour layover in Philly, so he thought that maybe it would come in handy. Originally, I was supposed to be in Philly for an hour, so I would have basically had time to grab a snack, sit for a minute and leave. Now, though, it was a much bigger deal. Comfortable chairs, snacks, beverages, clean bathrooms and a generally quiet atmosphere out of the traffic sounded so nice.

And, of course, the pass said that I could bring a guest.

So I’m sitting in the airport next to a man whose name, seat assignment and eventual destination I know. And wondering how I can ask him if he wants to be my guest without sounding like a crazy stalker. I feel it is necessary to point out that Kevin was totally in his own world, taking no notice of me. He was watching a movie (with headphones) and occasionally checking his phone. When we got onto the plane, he added an iPod to the mix. I’m sure that he noticed he was sitting next to someone, but beyond that, I don’t think he gave me a second thought. I don’t think he had a clue that I was stressing out about what he might possibly think about me if I made a completely random, but kind and generous offer. (yes, I realize (now) that not many people would get upset about being offered a free trip to the lounge, but at the time… things seemed different)

I wondered until the plane landed in Philly, when I finally asked him if he wanted to go. Turns out he was a really nice guy. We chatted on walk to the shuttle, and on the way to the Lounge, and then on the way to the Atlanta plane. He was very happy to pass the time in the lounge instead of the gate area. In the lounge, we spoke maybe 10 words to each other– it had been a long day, and I was having a hard time staying awake and forming sentences. He tried a couple times to make conversation, but kept himself busy with other things. I’m sure that if I hadn’t spent so much time worrying that a complete stranger was going to think I was odd, I probably would have been able to engage in conversation better (at all) and not seem so… odd.

But, even still, it was nice to have a wide, comfy seat for a little while in the lounge.

On the plane to Atlanta, I ended up with a row to myself while Kevin was smushed in the window seat in a row with 2 big guys. I thought about going up and asking him if he wanted the aisle seat in my row, but thought it seemed weird to do that. My eyes are still rolling at myself.

If I’m going to think so much, I need to think better things.

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She continued to complain about it hurting off and on. And since, every time, she wanted the ace bandage over the advil, I thought it wasn’t too bad. It seemed that the ace bandage was the 8 year old version of a band aid. And it seemed suspicious that her arm seemed only to hurt at bedtime, or when I asked her to clean her room.

I looked away for a little while, and when I looked up, she and the coach were talking. And Katie was crying. She nodded, and the coach pointed to a place to the side where she should sit out. I thought she was in trouble.

Later, they went to work on the bars. Katie did an awesome job, and was the only girl in the class who could start with extended arms and do both a forward and a backward flip around the bar. A couple more were able to do one of the flips by the end, but Katie did it every time. (atta girl!)

But every time she got to the beginning of the line, she saw me, and she cried. At one point, another coach came over to talk to her and she cried. Since I couldn’t hear anything, I could just see the coaches pointing and looking stern while talking to her, I didn’t know what was going on.

It never occurred to me that her arm hurt. She was voluntarily putting all her weight on it repeatedly, and then doing tricks. Who would do that if you knew it was going to cause serious pain? Apparently, my daughter would. She cried all the way home and said that the Advil didn’t really help. She asked if I would please take her to the doctor.

The next day, moments after I told Stagg I was going to take her in to have it looked at the next day, she called from school. Now writing hurt. So off to the doc we went.

The first doctor told me that his suspicion level for a break was low after talking to her. I agreed, but really wanted to get some answer for why it was still hurting enough to move her to tears. The xray surprised him enough to send us to an orthopedist, and it turns out that she has a small vertical fracture of one of her arm bones.

No cast necessary, just rest. And an ace bandage for effect.

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Since then, I’ve seen two “word of the year” posts where Karri and Alyson have picked a word as their theme for the year. (I’m sure there are many others who have also chosen a word of the year and blogged about it, but I know and like these people, so they count more as far as I am concerned.) Ironically, this was the general gist of my original New Years post, but I was not able to narrow it down to one word. And ONE word really seems to be the key for a truly guiding principle.

So my word. My word for the year is gratitude.

Generally, I am grateful for what I have. I realize just how lucky I am to have a home, a great husband, wonderful kids, awesome friends and on and on. On the “big” level, gratitude is not a problem. But the little things. Oh! The little things. I’ve sent myself into annoying little spirals of ick by focusing on the little things that bug me. And once I let one or two of these petty annoyances rub me the wrong way, a whole host of others show up for the party and I get more grumpy and keep seeing more things that make it oh so clear that my life is simply not all it is cracked up to be. (yes, all this health, happiness and awesomeness around me? TOTAL BURDEN) The spirals make me crazy and miserable, and I would really like to be done with them.

I’ve tried making myself stop, but that doesn’t really work. Not thinking about the things that have gotten under my skin just ends up making me nuttier. So, I’m going to try focusing on the gratitude in the small things along with the big. I know I’ll still have my moments. I also have a plan to both head them off and pull myself out of them. My hope is that it will become second nature to focus on the positive and see what I can do to make the situation (whatever it may be) better. I want this to be an active gratitude, where being thankful is readily translated into doing.

“As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.” John F Kennedy.

So, this year has a theme. It is a huge word, and I look forward to seeing how I am able to apply it in my life and my attitude this year. What fun!

[Photos from aboutmyrecovery.com and alimb Thank you!]

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The good news is that they were really, really ready to go back. I will leave my readiness level to the imagination.

I intentionally spent a good amount of time taking things easy. It has been a long time since I have had a quiet house, and I didn’t want to make too much noise. It was really wonderful. But there is so much to do, and I won’t have another day to lay around like this for a while.

Even today, the running around has to start back up. Gymnastics, meetings, groceries, dinner and all sorts of general getting back on track. I’m hoping that both girls will sleep soundly and easily tonight after their long first day back.

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1) Santa + Siri
I think I showed this one to about 5 different people, just in case they had missed it.

5qcmCUsw4EQ

2) Darth Vader Volkswagen
Stagg has the music as a ringtone option on his phone. I can’t hear it without putting my hands up like the little kid. He won’t make it my ringtone, though, since it probably wouldn’t be that flattering to me to the casual observer. Ah, well.

3) Allstate Mr. Mayhem – GPS
This is a great series of commercials, and I think this one is my favorite.

4) Citi Thank You Points Vacation
Love how this turns all the things women buy before a trip on their head. Girl Power!

5) Google Chrome Dear Sophie
Can’t watch this without getting teary. Its like a Hallmark commercial on steroids.

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