The last week before the 3Day, I was largely insane. First, the weather completely changed– we had been having days in the mid 70s, mornings in the mid 60s and all was well. I could wear my shorts and tank tops, and I was comfortable. But then, the temperatures dipped and we had mornings in the mid 30s to mid 40s and the highs were hitting 60, and sometimes a little more, but sometimes not. Then, there was my good friend Lisa’s issue with her foot/ankle, and it really looked for a couple days like she wasn’t going to be able to walk at all. Lisa has been my training buddy since we signed up in January, and we’d been walking together for at least a year before that. The idea that she might not make it was almost as devastating to me as it was to her.

So I bought a bunch of new clothes (which we’d been lectured extensively about NOT doing) and hoped for the best. The weather forecast looked bleak, with mostly rain and some pretty frosty temps. Really? Walk 60 miles in the rain and cold? Without my walking buddy? WTF?!

But things started looking up on Wednesday. Lisa’s foot wasn’t broken. It was actually starting to feel better. My ankle, which had really, really hurt the week before felt pretty healed. And then we got the email that said camp had been moved indoors for both nights, which was a relief. I packed like a madwoman and got ready.

Thursday night, Lisa, Jana and I went up to the hotel at Lake Lanier and settled in. We had wine and snacks, and watched Grey’s. Then Sondra came in and talked a mile a minute. We met the members of our team for the first time and talked to them for a little while. Went saw that the forecast had changed again to some brief showers in the morning and some rain later in the night. The weather would be cool, but not cold. Things were looking good. I didn’t sleep much, but that is nothing new.

Friday morning, we got up, showered quickly, got dressed and headed out to the shuttle. It had been explained to us that we could put our bag in the shuttle, then we’d take it somewhere else and it would be taken to camp. But we had a nice surprise that there was no luggage wrangling at Opening Ceremonies. Score!

There was a little rain at Opening Ceremonies, but they were handing out emergency rain ponchos, so we were set. Opening Ceremonies was a big party. Lots of excited people, stickers and Energizer bunny ears being handed out, music, lots of people really itching to get going. It felt good. And then we stretched together. Then there were speeches and the flags were brought in by the participants, and 8 survivors stood in the center and we remembered why we’re doing this crazy thing. They walked us out through the crowd, to cheers, high fives and a general sense that a great day was in front of us.

Sadly, I brought Maggie’s camera with me because it was small and cheap. That means that my pictures aren’t great.

 

Leaving Opening Ceremonies, this line of people stretched on for a really long way. It was incredible to look forward and back and see walkers for as far as you could see.

 

Jana, me, Lisa and Sondra (and Tritt, Katie’s class pet who came with me)

Every 3 miles or so, we’d hit a pit stop, and these were great. First, there were super excited crew members to greet you as you came in and cheer that you were doing a great job. They handed out stickers, and you were encouraged/reminded to eat, drink, check your feet, stretch and rest. We spent about 15 minutes at the first one, had a bite to eat and refilled our water bottles. It was no longer raining. Just before the pit stop, someone handed out pink mardi gras bead necklaces, so we had those, too. As an added bonus, we saw Susan at the pit stop, which was great.

People came out for this walk. Every mile or so, there would be a small group of people who had come out specifically to cheer. And not just to stand there and cheer– these people had props, costumes, snacks and music. It was awesome. And then there was the crew who directed traffic. At one point, we walked by an elementary school, and all the kids were outside, cheering for us. They had tambourines, home made shakers, candy, signs– some with pictures of people they knew with breast cancer. They kids were so cute, and so excited, and it is hard to think about it without getting choked up a little.

The road crew, who were fun and wonderful, and never let us cross a street without dancing and singing.

 

The Treasured Chests, who stood in one place to cheer, then drove up the road and cheered again. For all 3 Days.

 

Sweet Hill Elementary, now some of my favorite kids in the world.

Lunch was “BoobStock” where the crew was dressed up in 60s gear, the music was 60s, and they fed us well.

 
When Lisa & I arrived, it just started to rain, and someone mentioned that there was a place inside where we could sit down. I was expecting a room where we could park it on the floor, but we walked into a place with tables and chairs — even flowers and fake candles on the tables! We enjoyed a leisurely lunch and headed back out. The rests in the walk really made us less tired. I had been nervous, really nervous, because Lisa and I never walked more than 11 miles at a time. And even that wasn’t too often. I think we were both freaked out that it was going to kill us during the walk because we’d be so tired. But the rests made it seem more like a series of 3 mile walks instead of one big walk.

It rained off and on during the afternoon, and eventually we found a Starbucks and got something to drink. Oh, that was nice. So nice that we even blew off the last pit stop and just hoofed it to the bus back to camp.

Walking into camp after the first day’s walk.

 
At camp, we found our stuff — actually, Jana and Sondra who got there before we did found it for us. We set up our tents, got situated and headed off to the showers. They were hot and decent showers– much more than I would have expected from a tractor trailer. Dinner was decent (we were served by pirates!) and there was some entertainment after dinner, including an American Idol-style contest where people sang. Lights out was at 9, and then, OMG. It was hell. 3,000 people indoors, in close quarters does not make for good sleep. Especially when you are sleeping on concrete floors with a really thin camp mat. I woke up feeling like I’d been kicked. A Lot.

Pink tents as far as the eye can see!

Day 2

The breakfast at camp was really good. Basically, anything you wanted, they probably had it there. And it was served with a smile. It was chilly and when we were off, but the forecast said we could go without jackets, so we did. Actually, we kept looking at the forecast and thinking it didn’t make any sense, since the high for the day was supposed to be 59 and it was currently 60. So, we were off on the bus to Pit 1.

They held us at the start for about 20 minutes. It was cold, and boring and we were itching to go. The safety crew entertained us with much dancing though, which was fun.

Overall, the 2nd day was much like the first. But the cheering stations were so much bigger and better. And there were more Starbucks. I was grumpy, but not through and through grumpy, so we were laughing about it. We passed by a man with a big wooden walking stick, and Lisa asked if she could borrow it to beat me with. The man’s face was pretty priceless. Also, Lisa kept trying to push me into the street (Which she claims was an accident, but I’m not sure)

During the walk on Day2, Lisa mentioned several times that she didn’t see why people always seem to say that the 3 Day is life changing. I agreed. It was great, it was fun, there were some very cool people and wonderful things going on, but really… my life wasn’t changed.

At lunch, Lisa did the electric slide with the National Spokesperson for the 3Day. They got me to do it, despite my objections that I have never been able to do the electric slide. I can do one, maybe two rounds of it, but then I get ALL messed up and dizzy and it just doesn’t work. People laugh, and I deserve it.

Jenne, the spokesperson is hysterical. She thinks great on her feet and is very, very funny. When Lisa sent me the link to her blog, I liked her even more. Her Cancer FAQ was a surprise.

When we finished eating it cooled off enough– ALL OF A SUDDEN– that they handed out mylar blankets, which came in so very handy. It was cold, and those things are awesome! We walked with them for miles, and the Starbucks started to get really crowded when we hit them while we were walking. By this time, too, the joy that is a flush toilet also became so apparent to everyone.

Three things happened that afternoon that were really amazing. The first was that for about 45 seconds, Lisa and I were walking and couldn’t see anyone else from the walk. It was the first time that had happened, and we thought that we might have gone the wrong way. :

The second was another time we were walking when there weren’t many people around us. People honk all the time at the long lines of people and yell “thank you” out the window, or just cheer or say something encouraging. It is really wonderful. One woman, though, leaned out her window and yelled thank you and told us that she really appreciated our walking. We said something like no problem, or happy to do it or something and she practically stopped in the road and said “NO. I’m a survivor. Thank you. I really appreciate this.” It took a little while to talk after that.

The third thing starts with a flag. They have these little flags with things on them. Like this one:

The flags aren’t heavy, but when you’re carrying them for a while, they can feel it. We passed a woman who was carrying the “Generations” flag and I asked her if she wanted me to take it. At first she said no because we only had 2 miles to go, but then she decided to give it to me because it was getting heavy. I had wanted to carry a sign during the walk, and while it wasn’t my first choice, I was happy to carry one. When we were approaching the last cheering station of the day, Stagg texted me to tell me there was a surprise for me there, so I figured that he and the girls were there. We walked along, getting cheered at and all of a sudden, Katie pops out. NEXT. TO. MY. MOM. My parents flew down so they could see me and cheer me on. (choked up again) I stopped to talk to my mom & dad and June & Stagg and the girls for a few minutes and begged Stagg to get an air mattress so we could be a little comfortable while we slept. So he, June & Maggie went to find one (it was freezing. Maggie was too cold to stay outside). My dad walked with Lisa, and I got to walk the last .7 miles of the day with Katie and my mom and the Generations flag. It was the best flag to have after all.

There was much scurrying at the last pit stop, and finally, we decided that we’d sleep at home and meet up with everyone at the starting point for the next day. Oh, what a good decision!

 

Day 3

Day 3 started beautifully. My parents had taken the girls to their hotel for the night, so I got to sleep in my own bed after a nice hot shower and dinner with my family.

We woke up by 6 and had nice, leisurely coffee and breakfast. I took a quick shower and headed to Lisa’s where we met Sondra and Jana and Janet drove us over to the Chamblee High School where we started Day3. Janet had flown in from Wisconsin to surprise Lisa, but when it looked like Lisa might not walk, Janet told her about the surprise in an effort to cheer her up. Of course, the surprise was on Janet when Lisa showed up at the airport herself on Saturday night to meet her.

Sunday morning started with even more of a party atmosphere than the other 2 days, which, considering the other 2 days, is saying quite a bit. We walked past plenty of places we knew, and when we walked into Buckhead (the old bar district), there was a couple with a card table handing out Bloody Marys. I didn’t partake, but there were plenty of people who did.

We wove around and made it downtown. Lunch was at GA Tech, where I got my grad degree, so it was nice to see the old campus. We missed walking by the house where Stagg and I met by about .5 miles, which was a little disappointing, but not much. The walking on ay 3 was the hardest. I got my first blisters, and Lisa’s ankle was hurting her to the point where she was willing to mention it. But, we were so close to finishing the whole walk that it wasn’t worth considering stopping. Leaving lunch was tough. We were all stiff and sore after sitting down (we’d decided to take it easy and have a longer lunch so that we wouldn’t be in the holding area at the finish for hours and hours). But right after we got back to walking, there was a sign that said “Every 2 1/2 minutes, a new reason to walk” Motivation? You betcha.

Walking in downtown was great because there was so much to look at. But it was also really hard because you could get stuck in a group going really, really slowly and not be able to get out of it. That happened to us for a little while. But we got over it.

The end was so very, very cool. We walked to Turner Field, where the Braves play and met family and friends outside. Lisa’s family wasn’t there yet because Morgan and Amanda had a meeting a church, but my girls and Stagg and my dad were there. My mom got the chills at church and ended up having to go to bed because she had the flu. I am really bummed that she couldn’t make it.

When you walk into the holding area, all the crew and all the walkers who have gathered are standing in a receiving line of sorts. You walk down the middle to music (Prince’s 1999 was playing for Lisa & I) and everyone goes absolutely nuts cheering for you for finishing.

It was quite a rush. Then you get your victory T-shirt, refuel and join the party to cheer on the others. I honestly can’t say which end of that deal was better. After everone arrived, we got to cheer for the Crew, who had been amazing. And then it was off to Closing ceremonies, where we honored the survivors (281 survivors walked, 44 crewed) with a one shoe salute, and learned that the Atlanta weekend had raised 5.6 Million Dollars for Breast Cancer research. How cool is that?

 
In conclusion….

 
One thing I wanted to mention is that on the first day, Lisa and I passed a woman who was hobbling. Everything about this woman screamed that she was in pain and couldn’t go any further. We offered to flag down a sweep van for her, and told her that she needed to save something for the other days so she could keep walking. She was in bad shape. We walked off the path with her and got her to rest for a minute and she said she’d call a sweep van, so we went on. As we left, Lisa called back that she already was a hero with all that she’d done. She raised the money, she done the trainig and she was on the walk. There was no shame in taking help when it was needed. She said ok, and we parted ways.

We saw her again on the 3rd day. Lisa recognized her and asked her how it was going. She had walked every step. She didn’t give in to whatever pain she’d been having and kept going. She told us that she’d lost a toenail and had to have blood drained from underneath other toes, but she was there to walk, and walk she did. Man, that is dedication. She got big hugs from us, and we parted ways again. I don’t think I would have kept going. But she was determined. Pain is temporary, a cure is forever. Dude, there are some hard core women out there.

Also, the walker who raised the most money got a special tent that was twice the size, had a sweet bed setup and a few other little perks. The woman who got the tent raised over $20,000. She was tall, and thin and obviously going through chemo. But the kicker was that she was NOT going through chemo for breast cancer. She had some completely other type of cancer of some gland or another but believed strongly enough in what the 3 Day stood for that she raised almost 10 times the required amount. How cool is that? She took, as she put it, her bald head, and put it to good use for a good cause.

The walk wasn’t life changing in the way I thought it would be when I started. My life is the same. My house was a mess when I came home, and my kids still think I’m ridiculous for thinking that they need to eat a good dinner, do their homework and go to bed. So far, I haven’t found any superpowers that make my day more interesting or easier. But I know that I’ve done something significant, and that does make a difference.

I’ve leaned that raising $2,300 and walking 60 miles is not impossible. Not only that, but I raised $4,500 and the walking was fun. The reminder that something hard does not have to be a drudgery or boring or impossible will serve me well, and I know it.

I get to live my life from this point forward knowing that when they find a cure for breast cancer (or, hopefully ALL cancer) that I have played a part in it. I have helped raise awareness, raise money and raise spirits as far as this disease is concerned. Take that, Cancer.

I’ve learned that I still love stickers. My credential badge is covered in stickers and they each make me happy. I can’t necessarily tell you which one came from which place, but I know that I did something to earn that sticker, and it feels good to see them there with my route cards.

I’ve learned that the word “boobie” makes me giggle. Even if I’m able to keep it together on the outside, the 12 year old girl on the inside is still giggling about the word. And that is a good thing.

I’ve learned that a cheer will make me smile, and a heart felt thank you will bring me close to tears. And that having a stranger tell me they’re proud of me will make the tears fall.

I’ve also leaned that only 5-10% of breast cancer cases are hereditary. That pisses me off, and now I know what I can do about it. It might not be the most direct route, but it is the one I have, and I am willing to walk it. I have more than 8 women in my life who I am fond of, and I’m not willing to hand another one over to breast cancer and let it have its way with her (or him).

Register for 2010

Trying to get loose ends cleared up so I can get packing soon. And, of course, I’m going to have to get some new clothes. Up until last week, I had everything I needed. But now that the weather is changing, I’m going to need some warmer stuff!

I walked about 7 miles today, after a 3 day rest. The rest is because last week I hurt my ankle. Or my leg– I’m not really clear on exactly where the pain is coming from specifically, but I am clear that it hurts. And the pain was back during today’s walk. So I am coming to terms with the fact that this walk is going to hurt- not in an abstract, “gee, I might get some blisters or my knees might get sore or something might happen,” but clearly and specifically knowing that my leg/ankle is going to be hurting while I walk. And I’m trying to be ok with that.

It is scary, to think about the pain coming my way. I don’t like thinking about it. And I really don’t like considering that all the other hurts might still come on top of what I am expecting and I might get to know pain in ways that I haven’t known it before. But it is ok. I know I can push my body to a certain point, and if I get beyond that, and beyond the extra, secret store of I-can-do-this-ness, there are sweep vans. And if I really need to, I can take them. But I’d really rather not.

It is my plan to walk each and every step of these 60 miles. And I believe I will do it. Its just going to hurt. But that’s ok.

OK, 16 until we start walking. But two weeks from tomorrow, I’ll be checking into the hotel to prepare for opening ceremonies. Have you ever had something that felt like it was NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN because it was so far away and then all of a sudden, BOOM, its right around the corner? That’s how it is with the 3 Day right now.

I signed up in January, and there were more than 9 months standing between me and the walk. Enough time to build a whole person– surely that meant there was oodles of time for training and fundraising and researching gear. Right?

On the one hand, definitely. I’ve got my 2 pair of sneakers for the walk. I know what I need to get and what I have already. There are some loose ends to tie up, but it is under control. My fundraising minimum has been met, raised, met again and raised again. I feel like my efforts will take a bit (or at least a nibble) out of breast cancer, and it feels pretty good. I’ve been training. I’ve been walking and walking and walking some more. I’ve trained in the heat, in the cold, in the dark and even in the rain. I’d have trained in the snow, but this is Atlanta, and snow is hard to come by. I feel like I could have, should have, would have done more, but I know I have done a reasonable amount, and I will be ok with the walking. If not, there is always the sweep van.

All my bases are logically covered. I know this.

So why I am I sitting here starting to panic about the 60 miles?! What was I thinking?! How will I ever do this? What was I thinking?!

Two Sundays ago, I spent a few hours standing in front of Wal-Mart with a friend collecting donations for the 3-Day. I know some people find those folks annoying, but I feel like in this economy, it’s an easy way to gather several little donations that can make a big difference. (I collected a total of $350 on two different afternoons!!)

Just as I was getting ready to pack up, an older gentleman approached and said he was going to give me $1 and a piece of his mind. As foreboding as that sounds, he only somewhat grumpily complained that his 16-year-old daughter had wanted to do the 3-Day (or maybe the Avon Walk?) but couldn’t because of the fundraising amount.

I spared him my rant on HOW MUCH TIME I’VE POURED INTO FUNDRAISING and how SOMETIMES I THINK IT WOULD BE EASIER TO SET MYSELF ON A MONTHLY PAYMENT PLAN AND JUST DONATE IT ALL MYSELF. Instead, I just smiled and admitted it was a large challenge. (Besides, I’m too poor to actually donate $2,300 to anything all in one year.)

But that’s the point – it is a big challenge … Huge.

Raising $2,300 is supposed to be hard. Not like “discovering you have breast-cancer and must have toxins poured in you body” hard. And not like “asking your husband to shave your head because chemo has already caused too much of your hair to fall out” hard. And certainly not like “the cancer seems to be gone for now but could return. sometime. who knows when” hard.

But it needs to be hard enough that those with intense passion feel like they are doing something BIG. Because breast cancer is big and bold and (so far, anyway) hasn’t disappeared just because someone tapped it on the shoulder and told it that it wasn’t playing fair.

Raising that much money and walking that far is supposed to (in my humble opinion) bring normally competent adults and VERY competent teens to the place where they think they can’t go any farther. So they can do it anyway. Because at any given moment, there are hundreds of thousands of people who are experiencing that very same but much more concrete emotion through no choice of their own – maybe through illness or poverty or war or crime or any of the large number of the rest of us would prefer to know very little about.

If you think about it, you know someone in that position right now. If you don’t, maybe you need to get out more.

Anyway, there are a plethora of events (Race for the Cure, local breast-cancer walks, etc.) that give people ways to contribute on a smaller scale, but much of the beauty of the 3-Day is its scale. The event Web site might say things like “Small sacrifice, big reward” and “end breast cancer,” but from my perspective, walking 60 miles over 3 days and raising $2,300 requires more than passing interest.

Realistically, not everyone can do it. And I’ll be the first to admit that I haven’t been doing it alone.

And that’s OK; it’s supposed to be hard.

Of course, it makes training more difficult. So far, I’ve only walked in the rain by accident, and it hasn’t been bad. But the idea of getting up and going when it is already raining is not something I’ve been able to overcome. I know there is a chance I’ll be walking in the rain on the 3Day, but, for the moment, I’m willing to cross that bridge when I come to it. For now, I’m using the excuse that the thunder and lightening that have come along with this rain make it dangerous to walk, and that by staying inside, I’m being safe instead of lazy.

Of course, if it doesn’t let up soon, I’m going to have to suck it up and get wet.

My mind is on swine flu these days, so I asked her what he was sick with.

Katie’s mind has clearly been elsewhere. She shrugged and said, “Oh… I don’t know. Maybe breast cancer.”

Yikes.

Last night at dinner, the girls and I were talking about how they might get to go to ASP after school when I do the 3Day in October. We’ve talked about the 3Day and why I’m doing it several times. So it caught me off guard when Katie’s mouth dropped open and her eyes bugged out of her head and she asked, “YOU HAVE BREAST CANCER???!”

Maggie assured her I didn’t, rolled her eyes dramatically, and then looked at me and said, “Right, mom?”

We talked about the fact that I DON’T have breast cancer, what it is, and more. Then Katie wanted to know WHEN I would get breast cancer. She agreed when I said that I hoped I wouldn’t ever get it, but her reasoning is that I’d look really silly without boobies.

At this point, my serious training has not begun. I’ve been walking, but most of the walks are no longer than 6 miles or so at this point. Some of this has had to do with time—who can spend hours walking with little kids at home during the summer? Some has had to do with the heat—who wants to walk for hours in 90+ heat with Atlanta humidity and allergens wafting through the air? But some of it is also that it hasn’t seemed quite real.

It is starting to feel more real. I’m nervous because it is so much walking. And although, having been raised in a running family, walking doesn’t seem like “real” exercise, the idea of doing 3 almost-marathons on 3 consecutive days is certainly going to take some serious stamina and conditioning. At the same time, I believe there is going to be plenty of adrenalin due to being a part of it, and that will help carry me through.

But seriously, it is time to start training more.