Maggie played soccer last year, and Katie debated whether she wanted to play. One of her good friends was in the league, and her dad was a coach. They could be on the same team together and see each other every week. But after weeks of inner debate, she decided not to play. She watched all Maggie’s games, though, and decided this year that she would give it a try.
This year has been a bit of a battle when it comes to the soccer games. Her favorite Saturday mornings have been the ones where she has woken up to rain and soccer was canceled. But she has played, grudgingly, when she has had to. She may have hung back a little (ok, a lot), but she went on the field and participated in her own way.
This past weekend was a bit different. It had been a few weeks since we had been able to play, and Katie was adamant that she did not want to play. She cried on the way to the field, yelled at me, and, when I reminded her that she did actually enjoy soccer when she ran around and played, she tried to convince me that I was looking at the wrong kid because SHE definitely DID NOT SMILE at soccer.
Saturday’s game started with tears. She refused to participate in the practice at all, crying and telling me she didn’t want to play. I forced her onto the field for the team prayer, and left her with her coach.
She was not going to make this easy. And oh boy, did I feel guilty. The other parents commented on her in a good natured way, because it was impossible to see that she was not happy.
She kept her arms crossed, and walked at least 10 feet behind the rest of the players. When they were at the goal, she might be making her way towards midfield, watching and making sure she did not get too close to the action.
As though this stance were not evidence enough, when she turned around, it was worse.
Is there anything about that picture that doesn’t scream misery? I felt like a horrible parent. She was CRYING. On the FIELD. She was supposed to be happy and enjoying herself. This was supposed to be FUN! I really wanted to pull her out of the game and let her sit on my lap and tell her it would be ok. But I took a deep breath and let her coach be in charge. Her coach has 4 kids of his own, and knew what he was doing. He kept her on the field while he subbed out other players. Maybe she just needed time. And her coach was so patient (or stubborn) with her. He took her hand and helped her walk more quickly, or even jog toward the field of action. When she wouldn’t let him have her hand, he grabbed the back of her shirt and took her along that way. He was kind and firm. She was going to play, and she was going to have fun. All it was going to take was a little more time.
When there was a goal kick, he gave it to her. She kicked with her arms crossed and a scowl on her face, but she kicked the ball. He gave her another goal kick, and she did the same. He wasn’t giving up.
I really thought half time would be the end of it. Once she got to me on the sidelines, I knew there was no way she’d go back to field. But when the whistle blew, she came off the field, happy. Maybe not HAPPY, but she was clearly willing to go back to play and consider for a moment that soccer was not an elaborate torture device I had invented just for her. She even mentioned the possibility that she might kick the ball of her own accord and try to score a goal. I quickly bribed her with anything I could think of (which ended up being a SURPRISE if she would actually score a goal). She liked that idea, and actually jogged back to the field when the coach called everyone back.
The second half of the game had a different child in it. She ran after the ball, she got into the scrum around the ball. I think, a couple time, she even tried to force her way closer to the ball. She tried to score. She was proud and happy. She even looked like a soccer player!
Katie is now looking forward to next week’s game, which is, of course, the last. She and one other girl are the only ones on the team who have not yet scored a goal this season, and all the kids are working together to change that for them. Katie is very excited about that idea. And she is excited that she will get a trophy next week.
But she is also pretty sure that she doesn’t want to play soccer next year. In fact, she tells me that she doesn’t want to do sports at all except for swimming and gymnastics. I think I will listen to her.
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